By John Teng
When two people are involved in a committed relationship there are certain expectations that must be met, even if unvoiced. Fidelity for your spouse or partner is one of the top reasons why you maintain a relationship with your chosen. Without it, you and your partner wouldn’t even be in a relationship, as each person would be open to seeing others. Where there is infidelity in a committed relationship, it can be at great cost.
Infidelity may be defined as cheating on your partner with someone else, through sex, fantasy, touch, and even presence. Men are more likely to engage in infidelity because they are unhappy with the sex in their relationship. Women are more likely to cheat because of emotional reasons in their relationship.
Adultery may cause more than emotional costs. There may be financial costs, and relationship costs too. Many people who are living common law or who have been formally married may break up with their spouses after finding out they have been cheated on.
Sex outside the marriage can also have relationship costs. Often one person will feel hurt and betrayed. The trust that was once there has now been broken. This hurt and betrayal may cause the couple to break up.
Infidelity can also cause costs such as legal, and moving, as the household must be split in half. A lawyer may need to be brought in if property was acquired during the relationship, and neither party can agree on an amicable solution.
The emotional costs of a failed relationship caused by adultery can also be many. Besides the feelings of mistrust and betrayal that may develop, one or both people may also experience feelings of helplessness and depression. A failed relationship is difficult for everyone. One day everything may have been well, and the next, there will be a destroyed relationship.
Often the faithful partner may even experience feelings that they were the one who caused the relationship to fail, even if it was the other spouse who cheated. Many people may turn to drinking or drugs as a way to cope.
The emotional costs can also have a detrimental effect on any children from the relationship, and even extend to other family members, such as grandparents, or aunts and uncles.
Children will feel helpless as they watch their parents quarrel and fight. Blame may be passed back and forth. If the relationship breaks up, they may also experience feelings of pain, as one parent may no longer be part of their everyday lives.
In the USA, a survey was done in the 1990s, and it found that between 15% and 25% of married Americans had been unfaithful to their partners. Men were more likely to be unfaithful, while women became increasingly unfaithful as they became older.
No matter what the reason, there can be many costs associated with infidelity. The impact will be felt throughout the entire family, causing great emotional pain. The couple will have to decide if the relationship can be mended at this point, or if both partners need to move on.
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